My most recent ex-boyfriend is a formerly homeless, recovering meth addict who is in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). We “met” through a Craig’s List ad I posted on Christmas Day 2006. His e-mail wasn’t witty nor did I find him particularly attractive (in his pictures) but I agreed to meet him in person because he had also responded to another Craig’s List ad I had previously posted. During our date, he dropped 2 bombs on me. One, he was 35 years old. (I was 23 years old at the time.) And two, he was homeless for 2 years. My response was: “So, what was that like for you?” I gave a very Social Work-ity answer. The belief that all people are fundamentally good guides the work I do. I shouldn’t apply the principles of the NASW’s (National Association of Social Workers) Code of Ethics to dating, though. I want a boyfriend to share my life with, not another client on my caseload.
This emotional vomiting/over self-disclosure phenomena occurs a lot when I disclose to men what I do for a living. A couple of weeks ago, when I was at a BDSM masquerade co-op party at a warehouse in Oakland, I was cross-faded (read: high and drunk) but, when I told some guy that I’ve worked with meth addicts, he said: “Well, when I was addicted to meth. . . “ Due to my foggy mental state, I listened to his story because, at the time, I was too disoriented to walk away.
While I am not religious nor would I consider myself very spiritual, I believe that life is not a string of haphazard events. As cliche as it sounds, I do believe that everything does happens for a reason. I suppose I project warmth, open-mindedness, and compassion into the universe. People pick up on that, I think. And, as a result, those in most need of love and unconditional positive regard gravitate toward me.
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