Yeah yeah yeah I know. I never update.
Well that’s because I have a bunch of random stuff running through my head that I want to flesh out before I discuss…but then that day never comes….and a blog never comes.
Rundown:
It’s not the fear of flying. It’s the fear of plummeting to my death. (Blog about my fear of failure)
Boys are stupid. We should throw stones at them. But I’ve seen every man I’ve dated as being smarter than me either IQ wise or life experience wise. To the point where I don’t think I could date someone dumber than I am. How does one qualify? Apparently I’ m pretty picky for someone who is like a 6, 7 on a good day. If he uses the wrong “your” or spells something easy wrong? Points deducted. I’m working on lowering my standards though. Like I said, I’m a 7 on a good day. 4 or 5 if I open my mouth.
I PICKED THE WRONG MAJOR!!!!! (blog about having a degree in Communication but not really being able to write…actually that could
probably fit under failure fear one)
I might actually be crazy. And possibly not in the whole “doing the same action and expecting different results” way. But then again….who is sane?
I couldn’t say it a year ago but I am overwhelmed. (I choose to ignore it right now but if I sit down and really think about where I am in my life and how much my expectations and plans will have to change….I’m going to freak out….and that’s soooo not the remedy to getting my face to clear up [damn you Lupus].
……
I think that’s all that’s been bouncing around in my head lately. Maybe I’ll expand. Maybe I won’t.
Ignoring the fact that I slept……14 hours total yesterday….I’m going to bed. Goodnight.
Oh P.S., I need a new name for my blog. Five adjectives to describe me: random, snarky, honest (if we don’t count lies of omission), frazzled, easy to read….well that’s five but I don’t think it’ll help. I’d like to keep the general idea of “through my head, out my fingers” but make it more…buzzwording…errr like…title-y…..like a legitimate blog….if that’s what I end up doing with this.
Spanks a lot.
P.P.S. I’m looking for a new blog service too. I want a better way to sort my entries (because I am so random). I plan to do some event reviews, food/recipes reviews, diary entries, relationship musings, goal progress entries…..basically I want to talk about the different areas I intend to explore but be able to sort them so people can click on the category that interests them. Is this something I’ll have to learn HTML for? I briefly tried Blogspot but didn’t think I could do it the way I want. Any other good sites?
Okay, time to get minty fresh and then off to bed.
Wish me a productive tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Withdrawal
My body shakes…
I get cold sweats…
My mouth goes dry….
My heart-rate increases when I see your face.
Standing up is impossible…I get dizzy and fall back down.
My eyes are glazed.
Everything is foggy.
Every muscle hurts….especially around my chest.
I feel nauseated but when I lean over nothing comes out but your name…
I lay in bed twitching.
My sheets are drenched with sweat.
My teeth ache from gritting them too hard.
Days go by..or maybe it was only hours?
My sense of time is off.
I watch my ceiling fan go around in circles.
I try to focus on breathing.
I focus on the sound of the clock ticking.
I count the blinds on my window.
Something…
Anything….
Anything to keep me from focusing on my heartbeat that seems to be getting slower…
I lay back in my bed and look at the nightstand to my left.
I gaze at the syringe with its long needle…the last drop of you hanging on the tip.
I roll my head to the right and gaze at the small orange bottle that sits on the opposite nightstand.
“Take 2 capsules every 4-6 hours until finished. Consult doctor if symptoms continue after use”
I stare at the bottle…I know that it can save me.
But I would rather have another hit of you…but you stopped giving me my fix….
My body shakes…
I get cold sweats…
My mouth goes dry…
My heart stops….
Friday, February 12, 2010
A Hidden Cause: Americans' Illegal Drug Consumption.
In an house on suburban long island, a group of 20 somethings warm up by the fire and snort some cocaine. Their actions reverberate for the worse for thousands and thousands of miles.
It is estimated that the trafficking of drugs from South America through Central America, Mexico, and arriving in the United States, is worth a whopping $13 billion a year. The economist estimated that retail drug sales(illicit) in the United States is $60 billion. Add these two statistics together, and one can infer a connection between drug trafficking and Americans’ illicit drug consumption.
And Mexico is the final point in transit before final delivery to the United States, making it an integral piece to successfully place the products on the market. It is no secret that Mexico has a long history of corruption and poverty. The corruption is not the exclusive cause of poverty, but it would not rash to assume that it is a significant contributor.
Of course, the steely, unforgiving force of poverty is what causes so many Mexicans to abandon their homeland. They flee from it like one would from a powerful predator. It is, in its own way, a form of persecution; watching your child wither away from malnutrition is a tragedy of the highest order.
The source of Mexicans’ unfortunate plight cannot be grounded into an easy categorical list of causes. It goes way back, but undoubtedly, its remarkably bloody past and its proximity to its powerful neighbor in the North are part of the core. However, I contend that Americans’ illicit drug use, at least within the past 20 years, has significantly increased the amount of unauthorized migration to the United States and here is why:
Quickly visualize the effect that dropping $13 billion dollars in front of poor Mexicans that have no other hope to obtain financial stability for themselves and their family. (they don’t have to be poor, actually, it can be anyone, but the poorer an individual is, the faster they would jump at the money) It’s quite simple; many will grasp at that money with delight in their eyes. Thus, all of a sudden these same people are exponentially wealthier in very short amount of time. A problem, however, is these ill-gotten gains violate Mexican law. The solution: pay off poorly paid police, military, and other government officials. Therefore, government corruption rises. Many officials whose duty is to act in the best interests of Mexico’s people will now be more likely to act solely to preserve their considerable financial gains from illicit drugs, even if it is directly against the peoples’ interest. Without the peoples’ interests in mind, the government, then, does not focus on addressing the already existent poverty, and then, like a uncontained wildfire , its reach expands.
Americans, by flippantly using illicit drugs, create an germane environment for poverty to flourish and blaze its destructive path in Mexico and beyond. Ironically, many Americans who consistently lay all of the blame on individual Mexicans and others Latinos for coming here illegally surely are illicit drug users, or have been at some point. I suggest that those people give themselves lashes for the unpatriotic effects of their actions.
Seriously, though, if there is one reason not to use drugs, it should be that that use has and will continue to destroy human lives–both here and south of the border.
Obits and pieces
Recently we were encouraged to write an obituary for a living person of our choice. I used the opportunity to pay tribute to one of the best authors alive today, Bret Easton Ellis. Here is what I would have to say about the great man if he died today.
IN HIS 1987 novel The Rules of Attraction, Bret Easton Ellis wrote: “You will never know me.”
Now, after his mysterious death, the 45-year-old Californian author leaves behind more questions than answers.
And an unexplained passing, prompting wide-reaching explanations from a multitude of friends and acquaintances, is surely the way he would have wanted to go.
Forever an enigma, Ellis rocked up on the literary scene in a wash of overpriced denim and exuberant metaphor.
A cocktail of sex, drugs and hyperbole made his debut novel Less Than Zero an instant hit, while the rushed Brat-Pack film adaptation only served to demonstrate the unreplicable quality of his prose.
No one could explain the secret to Ellis’ writing.
Blending pity and envy, his portraits of privileged existence allow readers a glimpse of something they will never be part of.
Yet, far from offering simple escapism, Ellis has consistently shocked and disgusted his audiences to the point that a snapshot is all they could feel comfortable with.
The gaps between his later novels, often as long as five years, were punctuated by speculation about his private life.
By dealing with the vulnerability of celebrity in Glamorama and developing a fictionalised self in Lunar Park, many felt they were being invited to probe into the existence of a surprisingly secretive individual.
The truth is far more intriguing.
Ellis at a Lunar Park book signing
Just like his characters, Ellis invited reverence and revulsion in equal measure.
And his semi-autobiographical novel Lunar Park only added to the aura of mystery set up by the morally-ambiguous American Psycho and Ellis’ own morally-ambiguous existence.
The overlap between his life and work, culminating in their disturbing convergence in Lunar Park, will leave fans holding out hope that his death is just a plot-device, or even a valuable sub-plot in a much larger and hitherto unread story.
Publishers Knopf have not yet announced whether they will release Ellis’ final novel, Imperial Bedrooms, which was set to hit bookshelves in May.
All that is known of the work, a long-awaited sequel to Less Than Zero, is its opening line: “They had made a movie about us.”
Surely the mystery of Bret Easton Ellis’ life will be unravelled on the silver screen.
He would surely hate the commodification of his life, but secretly love the attention.
*Disclaimer: My details of Ellis’ death and the future publication of Imperial Bedrooms are fictionalised this article was just written as an exercise.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Just Like A Pill
just as fast as I can,
to the middle of nowhere,
to the middle of my frustrated fears;
and I swear you’re just like a pill,
instead of makin’ me better,
you keep makin’ me ill,
you keep makin’ me ill.”
~P!nk, Dallas Austin
Monday, February 8, 2010
One Hundred Things You Can Do To Help Other People
I’ve continued to be inspired by people’s 100 lists and you’ve probably seen many that I’ve highlighted in recent resource lists. Dragos wrote one that triggered me to write another with his excellent post on 100 tips to write huge lists. This list is on my favorite subject and while the length of these lists makes them quite a challenge to make, this particular subject is one I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about and writing goals in so its a great topic for me to tackle in a list. The items were actually fairly easy to come up for me without any research or added web surfing, but the real effort was then in putting a short description or example for each.
Anyway, I’m thrilled to have this list completed and can’t wait to experience and see the results of personally doing every single one on the list. That is the challenge I made for myself and I hope you challenge yourself with some or all of these items as well. This is also my largest single article ever and was awesome to create! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. I’d love if you could help to share it as well, thanks.
1. Smile
This is a great habit to develop to start each and every day and to practice whenever you have the chance. The great thing is that smiling at others is easy and takes nothing but a little effort. Nearly everyone responds to a smile and it makes you and the other person feel better immediately.
2. Hold or Get the Door for Someone
Simple things are a great way to serve others and these little things can really make a great difference. Stop and hold the door for someone whenever you get a chance you hold the door and let someone go in front of you. This sends a strong message and you can really bump it up by combining this with #1, a great smile with the door offer.
3. Help someone get where they want to be
I mean when it comes to transportation or as a physical destination. There are always friends, colleagues and family needing a ride somewhere or a pickup form a trip, vacation or event. Perhaps it’s to be a designated driver for a group of friends. Simply offer to help get there where they want to be.
4. Buy someone lunch
Buying lunch is not that expense, as many people do it everyday and when you have an opportunity when you are getting or eating lunch with someone, simply buy their lunch as well as yours. Don’t offer, don’t tell them, just do it and don’t make a big deal about it. Don’t say they can get the next one, don’t say they’d do it for you, just buy them lunch and leave it at that.
5. Pick up a hitch hiker
This one scares a lot of people and I will certainly include myself in that group. However, it’s a great way to serve others and is a lot safer than we tend to think or what we are often taught about strangers. It is also very safe if you think about where and when it is OK to pick up a hitch hiker and what people you want to pick up. Often you can offer someone (a stranger a ride) when they are not trying to hitch hike and this is very safe.
6. Provide Road Side Assistance
People have car trouble all the time. I’m sure you have at one point as well. Whether its changing a tire, jumping a battery or calling for an expert for a tow. Stopping to help someone can make a tremendous impact on someone who is struggling on the side of the road. This is especially true with accidents and is sad when people leave in a hurry when they should be stopping to help and offer a testimony to ensure people are not taken advantage of.
7. Mow Your Neighbors Lawn
Little things make a big difference and little things for a neighbor can turn an unknown neighbor into a great friend. Mowing a lawn or raking some leaves only takes a few minutes to do a little more than your own yard. it looks better when lawns are mowed at the same time and while you shouldn’t expect it, often such favors will be returned. I’ve experienced this one many times.
8. Invite someone over for dinner
An easy way to develop relationships is to have a meal together and so inviting someone over for dinner is a great way to serve them and that relationship.
9. Give a gift certificate
I love giving people living on the street gift certificates. Gift cards for food or stores for basic needs like clothing you can buy pretty much anywhere and then instead of givingmoney to someone who you have no idea how they might spend it, you can give them something that they have to use for their basic needs. I’ve given grocery store $20 gift cards to peddlers and they are always just thrilled getting it and it makes it easier for me knowing they can’t just turn around the corner and spend it on drugs or alcohol (you can’t buy alcohol in grocery stores here in Canada).
10. Help someone achieve a goal
People often struggle achieving their goals and every one of us can use help in some way. Ask people about their goals and do what you can to help them achieve it. Perhaps you make a suggestion of where to start or some person to refer, a course or knowledge or some personal tutoring or action to help them with, whatever it is, helping people achieve their goals is a wonderful way to serve others.
11. Share your dreams with someone
The more you think about your dreams and share them with others, the more likely they are to come true and for you to spend time on them. So, sharing your dreams with someone and them sharing theirs in return, helps make those dreams more likely and timely.
12. Shovel snow from more than your own walks
If you live in a subzero climate with snow, shoveling the walks can be a regular event in the winter months. Take a few minutes and shovel the walks for your neighbors or a local bus stop, or public pathway.
13. Write an article that helps people
This is an easy one for bloggers as it’s a regular event. For non-bloggers however, writing is not always seen as a way to help people, but it’s incredibly helpful. Pick a subject you know well and write an article about it and share it with people you know.
14. Teach something specific that you know about
Take writing one step further and teach someone something you know in person. Take the time to help them learn it, to explain it and to have then learn from you. Teaching is a great way to serve others and we all have an opportunity to teach others in areas we already have learned.
15. Listen intently in conversation
Conversations and communication can be difficult at times and in order to make it work and to serve others in a communication is to truly listen and to listen intently. Others will feel values that you took the time to listen and they were actually paid full attention and that you cared enough to hear them out.
16. Always let others speak before you
Another angle of communication is in when you speak and when others speak. To give to others and serve them in your communication, let them speak first and present their ideas. Often the people who speak first are the ones credited with an idea (if you had the same idea to share as well) and it’s great to allow that credit and attention to be paid on someone else. It’s a wonderful way to serve someone else when you know they had the same idea as you, but instead of stating that, you can simple tell them, “That is a great idea!”.
17. Volunteer in your community
This likely came to mind when you first thought about serving others and it’s a classic example of course. There are many ways to do this through programs, organizations, clubs, groups, community associations and any other activities in your community. There are often websites and directories for connecting volunteers and placements that would be good for them. Do some searching around your community.
18. Host a homeless person overnight in your home
It’s sad that this is such a scary thing for people image themselves doing but what better way to serve others than to provide the most basic of needs for someone who really needs it. There are many incredibly deserving and kind homeless people who simply can’t afford a home in our rich nations even though they have a job and family. Helping these people out and to get to know them a little and provide some assistance is a great way to serve others.
19. Donate money to a charity
Pick the charity you like, or many and set aside some money to give to them. The best way to give is to set it up to be an automatic width drawl so that the charity knows they can count on that monthly contribution and so that you make sure you do your giving before your other spending. We all spend too much anyway.
20. Pick up loose garbage
Our cities are for the most part, quite disgusting. There is garbage everywhere you go and it will never get cleaned up without people seeing the difference and by helping to pick it up. Do what you can and stop to pick up some garbage instead of walking over it for a change. I especially like to do this when I go out into the wilderness for a hike or ride. I always come home with more than I went out with since I make sure I take a moment to notice and to pick up someone’s garbage left behind.
21. Be a mentor to someone
Everyone needs help to achieve their dreams and goals in life and mentor ship is an excellent way of providing that needed help, encouragement and guidance required. Look for opportunities to mentor people and provide that benefit to someone else as a way to serve.
22. Give away your old stuff
I said it above and I’ll say it again. We all have too much stuff. Do a favor for people in need and give away some of the things you no longer need or use or wear. Others would be happy to have it and it will help you simplify your life and enjoy your time more. Find a few locations that you can drop off your stuff or call an organization that collects your goods to redistribute to those in need.
23. Buy someone a book
If you have explored LearnThis much, you know that I love books. Well do someone a service and buy them a book to enjoy as well. Don’t buy them a book though that YOU would enjoy, buy them a book that THEY will enjoy.
24. Be genuine with your apologies
Put some sincerity into your apologies and be genuine when you do make a mistake. Own up to it and make the appropriate apology in person and in a serious tone.
25. Bring baked goods to work
No matter where you work and if you work with people, people love food. Bringing in some baked goods or snacks is always appreciated. You can do this with your colleagues or clients, just try to ensure the food is something most can enjoy and its best to find something that is not just sugar or unhealthy. There are many great foods to share that are healthy as well and people do enjoy.
26. Compliment someone
Serving others has to be about them. Compliments are a great way for you to focus something positive on them and brighten their day. Find something you can be genuine about and give them the compliment with smile and positive approach.
27. Help to organize charity event
Charities and non-profit organizations struggle to get people to commit to planning an event or attending a volunteer effort. You can help out the organization AND the people it is serving if you help to run the charity or a charity event.
28. Be sportsmanlike on sports teams
Sports involve a lot of different personalities and sometimes emotions. Playing very sportsmanlike and keeping your cool even when others do not, serves everyone playing as an example and often the source of calm for the rest of a team. Do your best to stay calm, play with sportsmanlike conduct and encourage fair and fun play over competition and winning.
29. Encourage people
I just mentioned this for sports above but its possible in all areas of life. You have endless opportunities to encourage people to do what they love, follow their dreams, achieve their goals and do the things they enjoy doing. Encourage positive behavior and fun actions through you day, you will enjoy it more, help others recognize those same things and hopefully, keep more of those actions coming as a result in the future.
30. Give books you’ve read away
Not many people read all the books they have, let alone read them more than once. If you have books you know you will not read away keep them in mind and anyone interested in that subject, simply give them that book. I absolutely receiving free books from others and always enjoy reading them as I know there is someone to have a conversation then with about that book.
31. Be a friend to those who don’t deserve it
Friendship is often thought to be something that is earned. Well serving others you not looking for what others earn, you are simply serving others. Extend the offer of friendship to someone who doesn’t seem like they deserve it. Perhaps they have made some bad choices in life, hurt you in the past or stuck in a difficult set of habits to break. The best thing for them is a true friend and it’s a great way to serve if you can provide that.
32. Support mission and aid workers
There is constantly aid work going on around the world and traveling missionaries or support works in developing nations and disaster zones and they need support. You can support them with funds, letters, time, gifts or any combination of those. Spread the word as well and help these organizations grow, they are themselves doing a great service that deserves more support.
33. Share your creativity
Creativity sparks new ideas in others and ideas trigger change, growth and hope. Sharing your creativity with others serves these same results and is a great way to connect with people as well.
34. Promote someone else’s idea
We all our own ideas but how often do you reinforce and encourage someone else’s idea. Just one more way to serve and build others up.
35. Tell someone they are your friend
It’s funny how we don’t know how to classify as a friend or not. Everyone has a different definition of this, but we all like to hear that someone is our friend when we do finally hear it. Make it obvious if you are around someone new or you just don’t really know if they consider you a friend or not, to specifically say it. Fit it into a sentence or an introduction or just a comment, like it’s great to do stuff like this with friends, thanks.
36. Introduce a friend to someone they don’t know
Friends make connecting with other people much easier and if you ensure you always introduce your friends to other people you know, it builds new connections and make more people feel welcome in a conversation. It’s never fun to be the third wheel not knowing someone in the group so make sure you always introduce people to each other.
37. Talk to people at parties who look “out of place”
On the theme of meeting people and introducing people, often you can serve others by simply approaching them and introducing yourself. It only takes a minute and can make a new person or someone who is uncomfortable or out of place to feel a lot better. Invite them other into a group you are with, or just spend a few minutes to ask them questions and help them feel more comfortable.
38. Stay calm and don’t react in arguments
Arguments are a sure way to cause problems and staying calm may not be the easier thing to do (especially if you are under attack), but it is the best way to serve others both in the argument and seeing it indirectly. If you can stay calm and not make the situation any worse, then you do everyone a service including yourself from not reacting negatively.
39. Support your loved ones no matter what
We often put higher expectations and judgments on those we love instead of accepting thing for who they are and their decisions. There is nothing wrong with hoping for them to change or break away from destructive habits or decisions but there is a point at which you simply must support them as well if they make decisions or choices that you don’t agree with. Isn’t that the best way to show you love them anyway?
40. Share successes
People learn from the success of others and so sharing both your successes and the successes of others with more people is an easy way for everyone to learn from those experiences.
41. Practice appreciate inquiry and positive dialog
Appreciate inquiry has so many benefits it’s a wonderful way to help people feel included, listened to, engaged with and ultimately it’s a way to bring the best out of people and what they are involved in doing. I strongly believe in this one as it has such a focus on others and bringing out the best in people it is really an exceptional way to serve others.
42. Pay for the stranger’s coffee behind you in line
Head on through the drive through or even at a till in person and tell the cashier you would like to pay for that other person’s purchase as well. You will quite likely surprise the cashier and the other person with such a simple act of kindness.
43. Offer your seat on the bus / train
Public transport is often quite crowded and its sad how selfish people seem to be when onboard. Look for a chance to offer your seat or a helping hand to someone traveling with extra bags, children or perhaps a disability.
44. Operate a blog and give away great content
This is obvious one for me and I’m sure many of my readers here as well. Blogging really is about serving others once you start writing for what your readers want, and not what you want yourself. The best blogs exist because of the authors wanting to provide value and great content. There is much to learn from blogging and the best part by far, is the way it serves others and connects you with people.
45. Take on a project as a DIY with a friend
Do-it-yourself (DIY) has many benefits and when you can offer to help a friend take on a project you are doing a great service for them. Your help, support and perhaps expertise will bring you together to accomplish something and enjoy it when its done.
46. Accept others ideas without immediately judging them
It’s easy to be critical at times, especially if we think we have our own better idea. Do a service to others and don’t discount or be negative towards their ideas. Let them stand on their own and don’t immediate judge them.
47. Put and keep your cell phone out of site in conversation
This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I’ll never do it to others. If you are in a conversation with someone, give them your full attention, face them and put your dang phone away. It sends a poor message to be playing with your phone or answering it in the middle of a conversation. You can’t serve someone when sending the message that whoever might be calling is clearly more important than you so I’m going to check right now.
48. Inspire others
This is a whole list on its own for ways to do this but we do all have things we are passionate about and enjoy. Spread that passion and look to spark inspiration in others in sharing those.
49. Share appreciation aloud
People rarely feel appreciated enough even though it is incredibly easy to do. Practice expressing what you appreciate about someone and do it aloud so they hear it and perhaps others will hear the same, share more or learn from you to do the same.
50. Share gratitude in life
Similar to appreciation to others, gratitude is usually expressed towards circumstances, gifts and talents and life and life in general. Some show gratitude to God, to others or to their environment. Be grateful for what you have, recognize the abundance you have to experience and share that gratitude with others. Spreading gratitude and recognizing it is definitely a way to serve others.
51. Demonstrate perseverance
There are many ways to demonstrate perseverance but I’m thinking more specifically in the ways you are already serving others. Taking items on this list and persevering to keep them happening, to keep on practicing, to keep on serving.
52. Make moral decisions
Moral decisions are ones that are considered to be right. Moral decisions serve the general good and allow you to serve by making choices based on what is right and good. We all have a moral grounding as human beings and it’s how we are created and how we think at the deepest fundamental levels. Using that moral compass for our decisions serves others in these good decisions.
53. Live ethically
Ethical living has some parallels with moral living but perhaps more from the human defined perspective, and not human nature. Ethics are largely defined by our cultures and society and so making that system stable and effective requires that we follow ethics and make decisions that take society into mind and use that in the way to live. It’s all about what is right for many, a great way to serve others.
54. Share your mistakes with others
Mistakes are a wonderful way to learn and something that can easily be taught to others if shared. Examine your mistakes and do more than learn from them yourself, share them with others. You can gain a lot of trust in sharing mistakes and help others learn from those actions before they make the same mistakes.
55. Clap and cheer aloud
You often have a chance to clap for someone or even cheer for them at conferences, events or sports activities. What about in meetings, daily work or even at home around the house? Take a moment to recognize others and serve them by showing your appreciation for a job well done, an accomplishment or for taking on a new adventure. Show them by clapping for them or cheering. Bring others into the habit and use it often. We do this in my workplace very often in meetings, after hearing good news or any accomplishment that is share with a group. The cheers and clapping always bring on a smile and serves everyone involved.
56. Tell me about yourself
Tell me about yourself or introduce yourself are pretty common questions in interview and sometimes in business meetings with new clients or with new employees and colleagues. Use this chance to share your values and principles instead of just your usual background like where you work, your educational background or where you live. Tell someone what you value most, why and what principles you follow in all of your life. This has much more significance, surprises people so gets remembered and creates a faster stronger relationship can typical introductions.
57. Magnify someone’s kindness
Visit BondChristian.com and read about magnifying someone’s kindness and then go do it. Marshall wrote, “So how do you magnify someone’s kindness? You truly appreciate it. You accept it – you accept that in that moment, you are depending on someone else, that you really do need someone else.”
58. Be willing to describe your vulnerabilities
Vulnerability exposes oneself and is an catalyst to building trust. When people see vulnerabilities, they relate quickly and connect at a stronger level which immediate builds trust with that person. Vulnerabilities also humble oneself which leads to…
59. Be humble
There are many ways to be humble, not just in exposing vulnerabilities. Giving credit to others, taking blame, talking about others not yourself, and avoiding the temptation to be right are all great ways to be humble. Humility is goes hand in hand with serving others from a character trait perspective and the focus on others is what allows humility to surface.
60. Choose to be happy
Happiness is not something you seek, it’s not something you can find and its not something you can gain based on “if only…”, “when this…” and “as soon as this happens…” thinking. Happiness is something you must belief you can have and you then have to choose to be happy. You can be happy with hardship and suffering all around you and under terrible circumstances in your life if you truly believe you have that choice. For all those that need outside influences to be happy, you can provide that service and choose to be happy and to be an example of happiness for those around you regardless of the circumstances.
61. Admit your faith and beliefs
How you possibly serve others if you do not share or admit for faith and beliefs with them. Wouldn’t that be deceiving them, hiding things from them or even lying to them if you take it too far in fear of telling them? If you truly have faith and believe in it, you HAVE TO also believe in the value of sharing it. Yes, there are good times for this and perhaps some bad times, but you must be willing to admit your faith and belief systems.
62. Ask open ended questions
Good conversations depends a lot on questions and interaction between people. You can give control of a conversation and draw someone into being more expressive with you by asking open ended questions that allow them freedom to respond with more of their thoughts and not just a yes or no answer.
63. Be a change agent
We need to change through life or we become complacent and we die within our trapped lives. Change prevents that and allows people to grow and develop. Obviously personal development is connected deeply to change and if you see the value in it, serving others should involve being a change agent to help make changes happen in your life, those around you and your community for the better lives of all.
64. Avoid and guard against gossip
Gossip can be disastrous to friendships, careers and other people’s lives. Learning to avoid gossip and guard against it both for yourself and for others is a valuable service to engage in.
65. Live with purpose
Purpose is difficult to understand if you don’t know your purpose yet. It becomes the driving force in your life and gives you the energy to do all that you do in place of all the distractions and selfish acts that tend to keep us from our ultimate purpose. I’ve learned that people who believe they know there purpose rarely claim a selfish one and its most often one that has a betterment for others at some level in it. I believe we all have this created in us and so living with purpose in some way involves serving others. I certainly know that’s in my purpose.
66. Express your passions
Passions expose a positive attitude, joy and excitement from a person when they are expressed, or at least more so than normal topics. This excitement rubs off on others and in turn help to encourage them to be excited or to express their own passions as well.
67. Ask more questions than you answer
Asking questions shows interest in others and makes them feel more comfortable and connected in conversations. Use questions to serve others.
68. Hand write a personal thank you card
Hand written cards and especially thank you cards are very impactful compared to verbal, email or other means. Write a personal note or thank you to those that do things for you. It’s a simple way to return a good feeling.
69. Take the blame
I don’t mean to take the fall for things you did not do (as that seems dishonest), I’m meaning to own up and take the blame when you do make a mistake. Owning up to it instead of denying it, blaming others or fighting back in any way is the fastest way to resolve things and so a great way to serve others.
70. Keep excuses to your self
It’s very easy to be get defensive and this is related to the blame game above. We use the technique of the victim cycle to make excuses in life. Keeping these excuses to ourselves at least keeps others from getting sucked into the blame game and helps to protect our habits from impacting others. Of course learning to eliminate excuses altogether is best but even the first step of keeping them to yourself helps to serve others.
71. Apologize sincerely
It’s actually quite sad to see how poorly most people apologize. Insincere and often still accusing of others disguised right within the apology. “I’m sorry you took it that way” is a LOT different than saying “I’m sorry I hurt you”. Keep your apologies sincere and always make sure you only include what you did that you are sorry for.
72. Promote employee engagement
A great way to serve others at work is to engage other employees and colleagues whenever possible. Look at ways to involve others, find things that excite your colleagues and show interest in people over the bottom line.
73. Give honest feedback
Mastering feedback is a crucial skill for a manager but can apply to anyone when serving others. Feedback is a powerful tool to use to send a message of concern and care. If feedback is used properly, there is no good or bad feedback, it’s simply a way of showing concern, express a hope for developing the best in others and a great way to serve them.
74. Tell stories
I love stories and I know many others do as well. It’s unfortunately so many people loose the interest in stories as they age, I for one have not. Anything told as a story or that makes a story is of interest to me over other experiences and I know that stories have a way of drawing in others and developing relationships. Telling stories attracts people and is often used as a way to communicate an otherwise complex topic.
75. Control your response
While it is difficult to master, we do control our response to every situation in life. The choice is hard to always make the way we want to when thinking clearly yet with practice, we definitely serve others by getting better as controlling our response and being constructive and positive in otherwise difficult circumstances.
76. Master your state of mind
Our response is typically due to some moment or short time frame. Our state of mind however, is really an extension of that response and applied over long periods of time. State of mind affects our emotions, our mood and our thoughts at a drastic level and so in order to be at our best and to be in a state of mind that is helpful to others, we need to have some control over that state of mind.
77. Use the words, “Thank you.”
Why is “Thank you!” so hard to say? Compliments can be hard to come by sometimes and I believe its because we are so good at wrecking a good compliment with a poor response. Sometimes we argue back and say things like, “No I didn’t” or “Nah, you’re just saying that”. People have been taught that that is how to be humble but they are sadly mistaken. Responding in this way sends the message that they are wrong and so the compliment is rejected. It’s a terrible thing to do and subtly and unconsciously stops people from sharing compliments. There is one good response for a compliment, two simple words, “Thank You”.
78. Be prepared
The good old Scout’s motto, “be prepared” is a great way to think when it comes to serving others. If you are not prepared, you will need to be dependent on others and if you need them, how can you serve as easily. I’m not saying there are not exceptions to this, but in general, if you are prepared for a circumstance, you are more likely able to serve others in that circumstance yourself.
79. Stay healthy
Staying healthy keeps you out of the health care system, keeps others from having to look after you and enables you to live longer, set a good example and be able to serve others. If you can’t look after yourself, how can possibly serve others as easily?
80. Live with less stuff
Serving others tends to take a second place in life for many of us from all the other things we have going on. We volunteer if we have time, we help a friend if we are not already doing something and we put our spiritual needs behind our career and family for the most part. Well, all our stuff and complexities tend to distract us even more and so living with less stuff and activities is an easy way to serve others as it frees our time for it and lets us put it as a priority.
81. Eliminate complaints
Complaints are toxic to other people and their moods. Most complaints are simply dwelling on the past and never really help anyone. Do others a favor and eliminate your complaints.
82. Keep emails positive
Emails are a cause of many communication breakdowns from saying things the wrong way or sending an unintended message. This happens especially with emails that are criticizing something or negative in tone. To prevent this and to keep in mind your service to others, keep your emails positive.
83. Communicate in person
When you have a chance to communicate in person over email, voice mail and even the telephone, take it. You can always communicate more easily in person than other methods.
84. Ask for help when needed
Another way to serve others is to ask for help when its needed. People do generally want to help when they can and asking for help is a sure way to give them that opportunity. Taking on work yourself often leads to frustration and bitterness which can have long term effects that affect your ability to serve. Sharing skills, advice and a helping help is a great way to serve others, on both sides.
85. Use your talents
You are created with your own set of unique talents and when you discover what they are you should use them. Talents are wonderful to show with applied skill and are very inspiring to others. Your talents are always the areas you will have the most impact in and if you use your talents, you have the greatest ability to serve others.
86. Practice patience
I’ve had to learn this one the hard way and am realizing how effective applying patience is in serving others. While I used to get very frustrated and impatient with others, I’ve felt that God has been testing to learn to have patience and has opened my eyes to see how it is best for others when patience is practiced. I have learned the value in it now and truly believe that patience is a powerful way to serve others.
87. Protect forests
Our forests, our planet, our resources, it’s all a hot topic globally now and for good reason. We are destroying what everyone deserves to enjoy and a small portion of the humans are destroying the largest percentage. It’s a shame and the only way to combat it is to serve others by protecting the forests, the resources and our planet as a whole.
88. Forgive an action
Holding a grudge will get you know where. Forgiveness as hard as it is, is the best way to serve others. It’s the key to Jesus’ message and if we can live like Him, we are serving others by doing do.
89. Cancel a dept
Have you ever chipped in a few coins to cover someone’s bill at the grocery store? How about the money a friend borrowed and has never paid back yet? Cancel the dept and simply give it to them with no expectation of repaying the dept. If someone owes you something, don’t hold it over them, simply cancel and forget the dept and hold onto the relationship instead of the moneyattached.
90. Avoid the unimportant
Unimportant things distract us constantly from our lives, in our work, our families and in our relationships. The dept mentioned above could one of these things and it prevents us from realizing and experiencing what actually matters. If you want others around you to experience the best memories and relationships with you that is possible, avoid the unimportant and start doing, saying and acting on the important things in your life.
91. Be enthusiastic
I know that this one may be somewhat a personal preference but as a very animated and enthusiastic person myself, I’ve heard countless times how my energy and enthusiasm is such a great presence and character trait. I see the same in others and so I definitely believe that enthusiasm builds positive energy in others and that can only serve them by influence and perhaps, by being contagious.
92. Donate blood
This is a huge need for trauma care and a very selfless act that is truly done to serve others and provide a critical need.
93. Use positive dialogue
Positive dialogue fits into a few other items here as well but this is specifically in how you talk and what you talk about. If you focus on the positives in your life and words you say, you will make a positive impact on others as well. Positive dialogue includes discussions, your comments, feedback, hopes, dreams, aspirations and stories that are uplifting and positive in nature.
94. Do extra household chores
This is an easy one to do but unfortunately the word, “chores” has such negative thoughts associated with it for most people we avoid it. If that is the case for others as well, would you not say then that to serve them well would be to do some of their household chores?
95. Give anonymously
Giving is a great way to serve others. Make it an even better service by leaving a mystery by giving anonymously. If you are serving them, you don’t need the recognition and certainly don’t need the receiver to feel any obligation. The best gifts are the ones received in gratitude and anonymous gifts are easier to be grateful for than one that is connected elsewhere in our lives, so give anonymously.
96. Leave a specific compliment with a tip
Tips are an easy way to serve others in return for what they have done for you. If you want to make a stronger impact, then write a note or message with a tip to leave a specific compliment. Perhaps at a restaurant you could ask to speak to the manager and tell them about the great service you received from a specific server. The restaurant manager will be happy to hear this and the server will likely gain other benefits, far more than just your added tip.
97. Say hello often to strangers
Living in Calgary, while it isn’t a huge city, its much bigger than the small town I grew up in and it is odd how seldom people say hello. I hate that about the city and I’m doing my best to change it. You can to by greeting strangers, smiling in public and by simply hello to people as often as you can around the city. I ride my bike to work and love the bike paths I ride along as I often pass by people and have a chance to spread a smile and a hello. Most often it brings a smile in return and isn’t that a great way to serve. I think so.
98. Keep your promises
Being a person who can be trusted to do what you say is an important way to serve others. Breaking a promise kills trust and takes much longer to rebuild. If you want to serve others, you need to keep your word to them and be honest when you know you can’t keep your promise as early as possible or ideally, before you make it in the first place.
99. Let love for others drive your life
Love is the most powerful thing in this world. It provides us all with an ability to drive through incredibly painful circumstances. It brings about hope and joy that can overcome any amount of suffering and it sets an example for service to others and to God like nothing else. Love is a gift we all have the option to experience by God’s grace, it is offered to each and every one of us. Experience that, make love a focus in your own life and use it to drive your life to serve others.
100. Recognize when God calls you to serve
Finally, my last in this list of 100 ways to serve is to open your mind and heart to God, to listen and then ultimately to act upon his calling in a way He wants you to serve.
Intimacy With Christ-- Jesus Distant or Detatched?
Living a life of being distant and detached— well, it comes with its own set of problems. But, how did the Lord Jesus Christ live? Did he live within all the ups and downs and all arounds of humanity? Did he just detach himself and walk around with half closed eyes when looking at something that “irked” him- like tuning himself out or numbing himself out? How would we live our lives if we were perfectly perfect and knew just how much every action our eyes and ears cast themselves upon sucked dust?
(Father, we need a Rushing Wind- Song)
You know– so many of us pray to a perfectly loving God. Enjoy a perfectly loving God. Get all shiny up on the mountain with a perfectly loving God. And then- and then- we must come down from the mountain and cast our eyes and ears upon that which is not perfect– being religious folk, non-religious folk- and then our own thoughts, ideas, and mistakes- as we interact with the fact that there’s something wrong with everything. Easy being just with such a great God- right? (What Do I Know of Holy? Digging Song!) Something wrong with everything is not a teaching I just made up– the Bible teaches it– there’s just something wrong with every little thing. Whether it begins at an atomic level, genetic, temperament, social, physical… or whatever level.
So, Ahem– “Intimacy With Christ” — what does it mean–Does it mean I spend my days in isolation, behind my favorite songs, on the phone with my favorite people, doing all of my favorite things– and you know— avoiding those situations that reflect something about us we know is wrong or something back about what’s wrong around us. Well, what’s the balance– where are we with those things?
(Life Will Never Be Easy Song–Have Your Way)
You know Jesus Christ– as The Word Made Flesh or the Living Word—God’s Son dwelling among the daughters and sons of man had to grow up from baby-hood all the way to adult hood. He had ample opportunity to “blow” it time and time and time again. He was on a learning curve like everyone around him as he grew both in wisdom and stature and favor with men (Luke 2:52’s historical account). He got smarter, wiser, and knew how to socialize. As much as some would like to hide themselves away from people, situations, and things they don’t like– that’s just not our Lord. Jesus– after thirty some years of mixing in he heard from above along with His disciples the evaluation of his life up until that moment– you know– about 946, 080,000 seconds he “mingled with life– “This is my beloved Son with Whom I am well pleased.” OK– break the seconds into halves where Jesus could have just stepped across the line just once. He didn’t. Never. He was “well pleasing” to a Holy- Thrice Holy- Infinitely Perfect Father/God. (Will We Be Well Pleasing- When it’s all said and done?)
I. You ever notice that perfectionists often times are the first to be rude? Melancholy temperaments- though gifted with things such as musical ability, an eye for detail, creativity, … sometimes can’t get beyond others’ imperfections along with their own- so, criticize, criticize, and criticize again. Jesus was Perfect. How do you think things looked to Him? How do you think certain injustices made Him feel?
II. He was not so Phlegmatic (easy-going) that nothing penetrated a thick, thick skull of numbness. Otherwise he wouldn’t have wept, cleansed the temple, or hardly say any saying that some didn’t want to hear. (He was truly The Gentle Healer- and His physical healings are only a reflection of what He wants to do in our heart. About that- he’s not laid-back.)
III. What about being so focused that he became a bone crushing/driven Choleric? Wow– “Look-out everyone— here comes that Jesus guy and he’s out to get ya– he could just end up calling down thousands of angels to deal with us all– run.” No, Jesus Christ was given a mission–but, that mission wasn’t to “judge sinners- rather- to save them” in His own words.
IV. How about being a light-hearted laughy Jesus— ummm— but, lacking in the “commitment” department? “Well boys, you twelve are starting to really get on my nerves. I think I’m gonna chose another 12.” Jesus stayed with His own to the end and still does– no matter how far we have fallen short of the things that please him, encrouched upon the things that displease him, or just have been absent in terms of relationship with Him. He’s a good shepherd and pokes us to come back. He’s committed. (You Are My All in All– Great Song)
When Jesus Christ mingled with our universe/people- he didn’t just put himself in the best of places (Psalm 23)- “beside the still waters”- and stay there. Yes, he was immediately filled with The Person, enshrouded by the Presence, and endued with the Power of The Holy Spirit. Then off to a wilderness alone he went to be “temped by the Devil” ( You know– “the new kid on the block” that gained a footing on earth to be a kind of god/lord here (Apostle Paul’s words) because Adam opened the door to abdicate his total ruling of all things on earth.) And then Jesus entered civilization– and if you think that the Devil left him alone after the Wilderness experience– your wrong. Jesus Christ was not Detatched or Removed— ever—except that He detached His heart to be totally for His Father and Removed His Heart’s affections to be affectionate first and formost to His God/Father and to his neighbor and even enemies.
Me thinx the struggle ultimately— to walk as Jesus did among men as a perfectly balanced, normal, and righteous individual before God required that nothing– absolutely nothing took place on the throne of His heart– except to love the Lord His God/His Father. And now– ours is to not allow anything upon the throne of our hearts except the Lord Jesus to the glory of God the Father by the Holy Spirit (Jesus words: “As the Father sent me so send I you.” How did the Father send Jesus? With the Father on the throne of His heart by the Holy Spirit).
How many seconds did I say Jesus pretty-much lived up til he heard that he was well pleasing to the Father from baby-hood until that moment? 946,080,000 seconds lived and logged-in as perfect and having nothing on the throne of his heart other than a Love for His Father and His Father’s Perfect Loving Will. Was that ever seriously tough and seriously testing for the Lord Jesus (And now- He knows our frame when tested and can comfort perfectly)– Ummm- Yes, big time as he “broke-down” (not in a sinful way) in the garden just before His crucifixion from the weight of the thing he was about to do.
“Guard Your Heart for out of it…..”In terms of solutions to “being caught of guard” as a believer around imperfect situations, imperfect religious folk and non-religious folk, bad news of losing this or that…. on and on– one really must pray contritely/humbly in the spirit of this kind of prayer- “Lord Jesus- take my heart– I don’t want it— it’s yours– you bought it and Your Father planned on you buying it before the worlds began.” (I emphasize the spirit of this prayer rather than word for word in that you’re an individual and “Intimacy With Christ” is personal. There are “crafted” prayers that only you are meant to craft to express your desire to have only Jesus on the throne of your heart. (A Great Heart Song- Ministries All Over The World)
When things get wacky: Did things ever get wacky for the Lord Jesus? You bet– the God of His nation had promised to restore them through a greater covenant than Moses– the covenant of “the prophet” Moses spoke of and the “Christ” the scriptures spoke of as well as the “Kiss the Son” King King David speaks about (Psalm 2). So, there He was– the New Covenant/Abrahamic Covenant popping up again in time and space (real history) and people on the most part were glib towards him much of the time.
He had:
1. People plotting to kill him again and again and again.
2. People telling Him that he was of the chief of demons.
3. People pulling open other people’s homes from the roof to lower down the sick. How’d the person owning that house think?
4. His own disciples- who he had poured out pretty much everything too- missing the point again and again and again in petty rivalry, unbelief, jutxtapositioning, cowadice to the point of denial, and going off the deep end at times in their thinking.
5. The mother of a couple of His disciples asking if they could be sitting with him on his throne in His future Kingdom– wow– the nerve. LOL Yet, there He was talking with them/or listening more?
6. People throwing palms down at him and calling him a King crying out “Hosanna in the highest.” And later crying out “crucify him.” Talking about being famous for a day and infamous for a day–who’d want that on their worst enemy?
7. Spending hours alone in some place like on a mountain or in a garden praying into the wee hours because he so desperately and intensely needed the Father’s Grace and Power to face a day of thousands of people, many miles of travel, places where food wasn’t plentious, and not having a home to just go an relax in as his own.
8. Him– the Son– a King– being treated so rudely—the One “by whom all things were made” treated worse than the thieves and haters of God.
9. People dying and crying around him, and then even bringing him to tears and then him calling out to the dead, “Lazarus come out!” — and out comes the dead and people are happy again. An emotionally taxing moment. Up and down and around.
10. The Most innocent man ever to live spit upon, beard plucked, flesh torn from whips perhaps tied with glass at the ends or metal, kicked, punched again and again, laughed at, scorned, forced to carry a cross, nailed to it, lifted up among the guilty, not “worthy” enough to be within the Holy City– rather crucified outside of it…… (Jesus Truly Had This Song Fixed In His Heart- We Can Too- Not Easy- It Never Is.)
The Bible says, “He learned obedience through the things which he suffered.” He couldn’t completely withdraw. He couldn’t be detatched. To Finish His Race/His Work.” Neither can we in this life unless we become a Hermit or get to the moon somehow with a life’s supply of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You see- there’s not much to learn by way of obedience if your Father/Maker only sent you again and again and again to sun-tan and slurp on your favorite drink on some beach. If that was Jesus lot– there would have been no “learning obedience” at all– as this would be more a gift from God than an act of obedience to God. God, for Jesus to be our perfect Priest to understand our situation fully before God’s face as He pleads our case required His Son to know what obedience means in a terribly imperfect world.
How is it that godly men and women of the past made their way through this life growing in God’s Grace and Knowledge of Him?
1. They realized that at any given second there could be a curve ball and so the need for meditating upon God’s supportive/comforting truth.
2. They realized that at any given second there could be a curve ball and so the need for going to a lonely place to get alone with Jesus and seek mercy in time of need regarding to the circumstances they knew about and the ones that were going to come they didn’t know about.
3. They realized that at any given second there could be a curve ball and so the need to exercise “self-control” (even while whispering to the Holy Spirit) I need Thee– how I need thee— to guard their hearts from idolatry/other things getting back on the throne.
4. They realized that at any given second there could be a curve ball and so the need to soak themselves in “Intimacy With Christ” by counting all the ways in which He/God has loved us and how He made that clear on the cross.
5. They realized that at any give second there could be a curve ball and so they entered into worship either secretly signing/humming or making melody in their hearts around the goodness, mercy and perfections of their Great and Wonderful God-so, keeping their hearts soft– the kind of Throne Jesus seeks as he is near to the contrite spirit.
6. They realized that at any given second there could be a curve ball and so realized that being “on guard” — there wasn’t and apathetic or lukewarm gear they kept themselves locked into…rather, they kept “aware”, didn’t sleep on the job, took every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and set the Lord Jesus as Lord apart– over them.
7. They realized that at any given second there could be a curve ball enough times and came to “Relax”, “Rest” and “Realize” in the Lord Jesus God’s Grace– so that if their foot did slip— His mercy, grace, and love is always here to catch. Always–so, this list—well, it’s helpful but, honestly — “Jesus and Intimacy With Him” is at the center— not a list like this one– as helpful as it may be and emphasizing our need to be second by second believers. Really– there is a “Rest” for the people of God in Jesus– a faith that move in Him.
Father God, help us to first thirst and hunger to be “Intimate With Jesus Christ.” Help us to not “freek” at a “second-by-second” authentic Christianity—rather, help us to keep it all simple and child-like. We need Thee and need to be aware that we need to be aware and to find as many ways possible to tap into the strength and grace in the Lord Jesus Christ (which by the way isn’t morphine to take away all pain, trials, suffering, or even being caught off guard). (What The Lord Has Done In Me–Without Morphine.) Yes, You care for us– even us Oh God, and You will show us Your good in the Land of the Living. Yes, You will show us Your Good in the Land of the Living. If our foot should slip– help us to repent/change our mind/heart and turn back to the right way, right response, the right way of recovering our mistakes. Oh God, Oh Holy God, “lead us not into temptation” to show us that we must be soft, we are weak, and to show us when we aren’t depending on You. Rather, Father, open our eyes and ears far, far before it would require us ever to be “led into temptation” – rather, deliver us from Evil. Lord Jesus– we give You our hearts. We can only make a mess of our lives if we use Your Measuring Bar to tell the truth apart from giving ourselves to You— as for other Measuring Bars– they are so low that we feel just spiffy when we use them– but, then there’s Yours Oh God. And that Yours is now in the shadow of the Mercy Seat- the Cross of Christ. Help Me- Us Oh Lord. In Jesus Name- AMEN.
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