Sunday, September 13, 2009

Lesson One: People will believe anything about Amy Winehouse

For the lazy celeb journalist, Amy Winehouse is a god send. There’s no need to even back up any stories about her since the public will swallow anything. All you need is a seed of an unverified rumour and a wild imagination.

Cue example 1:

Amy Winehouse - wedding singer, baby-desirer and divorce-seeker all in one week.

The Sun says on 13.09.09:

Amy Winehouse is being a wedding singer for £20,000 at a Greek wedding in Hertfordshire.

This is good – it follows her character arc as ’singer on a downward spiral’ without going into the over-used areas of drugs or broken marriage.

This also perfectly backed up by this anonymous, untraceable person:

A source said: “Amy agreed to do it because it was a nice little earner and didn’t involve a lot of travel.”

And finally, Hertfordshire. Beautifully vague. Kinda believable.

Example 2:

The News Of The World on 05.09.09:

Amy and Blake are back together.

News of a celebs splitting up with or getting back together sells papers, guaranteed. No matter how feeble the story. There is a vague mention of an unnamed bar in Old Street, and a strange lack of photos, but hey ho.

Example 3

The Sun on 1.09.09:

Amy paints freckles on her face in bid to get back her husband.

Again this mysterious unidentifiable ‘pal’ is back:

A pal said: “She painted the orange marks on her nose and wore a tiger-print top so that Blake would notice.”

Extra freckles added by Starsuckers courtesy of Photoshop

[Via http://starsuckers.wordpress.com]

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