Friday, September 11, 2009

Top ten best excuses in criminal cases

(the blog doesn’t contain any information learned through attorney client conversations)

1. License case: “It wasn’t me, my brother did it, my brother did it” The defendant doesn’t have a brother.

2. Assault and Battery Case: “The guy walked into my fist. I tried to stop him, but he kept running into my fist!”

3. Shoplifting case: “I was going to return it if it didn’t fit, really I was.”

4. Conspiracy case: “it was entirely my wife’s idea, I will testify that way if I need to.”

5. Assault with Dangerous Weapon: “The cops must have planted my fingerprints on the weapon.”

6. Drug case: “I was only given $5,000 to drive this bag from one location to another, how was I supposed to know there was something illegal in the bag?”

7. Minor in possession of alcohol: “Yeah, we had the alcohol, but I wasn’t given my Miranda rights, so that means a dismissal right?” The police saw the person drinking in the car and there were no statements to be suppressed.

8. OUI case: “I drank a lot, but I wasn’t that drunk because I got to the car and I was driving.”

9. Drug case: An overweight person claimed that she didn’t use crack cocaine. While pointing at herself she stated, “look at me, does it look like I use crack!”

10. My favorite: A doctor gets arrested for trying to elicit sex from a prostitute. “I was doing research on STDs.”

You never know what you are going to encounter. The majority of people that I meet are not like this, but there are a few that keep things interesting. Some people I believe have convinced themselves of this other alternate story to the point that they can’t be considered lying anymore. Finally, I do have to say I enjoy this job. With these experiences, how can I feel any differently?

[Via http://attorneychan.wordpress.com]

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